Lent: Day 1

Today is the first day of Lent and it is easy today this giving up of food. Pretty easy, and I am happily reminded why I am a doing this.  It is funny, this small offering that even in this I know I will need Him.  I want to bring Him something and I know I can bring Him nothing without His intervention.  That even my best intentions fall flat because I am flawed.  I fail and my motives get skewed and I begin to see in old ways and think old thoughts. So Lord, I pray that you would take this small offering and make it something you can use, something of value. It is and will be many things I believe as the time progresses. I want so much out if it. I want you Lord. I don't want to miss all that you have to give as I give. My giving I know is small, but you can make something of it and I am asking that of you. I am asking that in your mercy you would draw close.


I sometimes think back and am filled with sorrow when I see all the opportunities I missed with Isaiah when he was young, all the opportunities I have flown by in my busyness and in being 19 and alone and afraid with a new baby. I would have loved to make an Easter tree with him.  To tenderly show him these things at an early age. But the Lord was still growing me up (still is) and in my sorrow I also see His mercy.  I remember the moments the Lord did so graciously give and the way He has protected Isaiah and given him Johnny and the countless blessings the Lord has lavished on the son of my youth. That is my messy-beautiful. And as much as I see the weight and depth of my sin I see His love and mercy covering it every time I look. 
Create in this family clean hearts. Let us serve you unhindered. I read an article by C.S. Lewis today, "The Slip of the Tongue" and it bothered me. He was talking about how we come to God, but really don't want Him in all His fullness, because we do not want to be required to give up any of our temporal comforts. What do I have that I do not want to give up?


In this time of giving things up Lord do what you want. I could ask for so many things, but none of them compare to what you have planned. Lord do not let my hope be ashamed, but spread the Love of God in our hearts by the Holy Ghost who is given to us.


Teach us how to pray.
Amen,