He Rubs Her Back

Today has been a rough one. I have been feeling low. I have been hard pressed to be grateful. Well, maybe I just haven't tried. My quiet times have been quick blurbs after pressing snooze on the alarm. It doesn't cut it. I need to hear Him.  I need the eye salve new every day. Because everyday I easily slip back into my old way of seeing. The seeing that thinks it sees, but is really only seeing mirages. Things that look good, but have no substance. Things that seem beautiful, but are simply endless stretches of sand, hot and dry...empty. And I find myself searching during these days. Searching my lists for something to do, searching the pantry for something to eat, searching my inbox for something to read.  Searching and this is the searching of one who is not seeing. Because when I see the searching ceases and I see real. I see the gifts. I see the God, giver of all good things. I see and I rest. And robes of righteousness that are not my own and gold tried in the fire. My need never ceases. Everyday I need to buy the gold and ask for the robes and EVERYDAY I need eye salve that I may see. And when I ask I see things.

Like the way my hubby takes a turn. You see the baby has been sick and not sleeping well and my hubby, man who works long hours and then serves, serves us, serves others. That man, he gets up from his rest at the sound of the crying and goes to her. The coughing is what wakes her. He goes to her and rubs her back and I can picture him in my mind, because this is not the first time. He stays and patiently through the coughing that leads to crying and more coughing, rubs her back. He rubs it long with patience until she settles back to sleep with a sigh. And as I write I see. The Lord is merciful and able to open my eyes everyday. I need to ask, Everyday.