Eliya Grace Miscellaneous Mumblings

Just a few sweet things said by my 2 year old love. Written here so I can chuckle at them a month from now, a year from now, ten years from now. Tonight we were having family time and talking about things that are hard in our life and how we can apply scriptu

re to those things. Eliya girl wanted a turn and she said this: 
 "What's hard in my life is reading my Bible because reading is so hard in my life." I wish I could record here the pained look on your sweet face at the difficulty of not being able to read :)

Some other cute things you say right now. You mix up words of a couple specific things like, nail polish to you is "polish nail" every time. Something new is "new brand" instead of brand new. 

There are moments when I wish you would stay this small forever, but other moments when I can't wait to see who you are becoming. 

We are in a rough patch right now. You are showing some defiance and spankings are not uncommon. You are, like all of us, fallen and sinful and born rebellious. We are learning and walking beside you and asking the Lord for His tender mercy towards you and for wisdom in training you. 

Sweet baby girl, you are the most exuberant little thing I have ever seen. You love to jump and run fast...super fast. You get so excited to show everything to your daddy. You love to read books and you love Curious George. 

Mi Vida Loca

Aaaahhhh Life... I am sure anyone with toddlers will be able to relate, but today just felt crazy. It's our anniversary. 9 years today with the man who is quite literally everything I need in a man.  His strengths so often shoring up my weaknesses and even his weaknesses perfectly suited to grow me into the woman God intended for me to be. We made beautiful plans for our anniversary. A nice dinner, a movie and in the morning... a hike and coffee at our favorite spot, just the two of us. But alas, what are we doing instead??? Cleaning up puke and rocking crying babies. Taking turns passing the kids back and forth for the tasks that are suited best to each one of us. Mom cleans up the puke, while Daddy rocks the baby. Mom nurses the baby, Daddy tells a story and rocks the sweet, sick little baby girl to sleep. And in the midst of all of this you look at me and I know what you are thinking. You are thinking you wouldn't trade this for all the world. The look on your face says you are grateful for me, grateful for us and this crazy messy life the Lord has given. You look at me like I am beautiful even though I am wearing my "I have been puked on too many times to count" outfit. (I know it's not cute) But my heart is happy, at rest and I truly believe this is exactly what I needed. I don't think the perfect dinner or the perfect latte or the perfect quiet would have made this anniversary any better. Thank you my love, thank you for being you, for laughing with me at our foiled plans and messy house, for being patient with me for nine years, for whispering just the right words in my ear as we fall asleep. You are most certainly the love of my life and I treasure all these crazy days and this crazy life with you.

Opportunity

My lack of sleep, nursing, no exercise, etc. are opportunities to present my body as a living sacrifice to Him. 

Opportunity to give up my rights for the sake of others.

Opportunity to do unto others as I would have them do unto me. 

Thank you Lord- for opportunity to know you in these things!

*Written the first couple of weeks that Jadon was here

Jadon Zakai

Jadon Zakai Levy, 

Life is amazing. A Life where there was before no life. A whole entire human being. History forever changed. 

A letter I wrote to you your first day home. 

Jadon- so grateful- Jadon Zakai- pure gratitude

May your life be lived this way son.  In pure gratitude to the One who gave it to you. You have inspired this already- gratitude to your Creator. 

You are a reminder that nothing belongs to us. All things are given to us by the Author and Creator of life- every good and perfect thing comes from Him.

Your entrance into this world wasn't easy. You got turned the wrong way, a bit stuck. And life is like that, son. You may get turned around and stuck, but trust that He knows. 

In everything give thanks. He is indeed perfecting everything concerning you! 

Blowing It

I'm blowing it big time today. Missed a Dr. appt.  Forgot to cancel friends bringing meals. Got almost nothing done. I have a super crabby baby, a teenager frustrated about homework and a husband who needs love and attention. I can't handle it. As small as my life is I can't handle it. I have days like this. And maybe these days are the most precious because I am reminded most on days like today of my need for Him. And my need reminds me that I have provision. All the energy and time and love and patience I need I have in Him. I can take a deep breath.

 In HIM I live and move and have my being. Acts 17:28

Grasping

     How do you hold on to all that's dear?  Like memory of Eliya stealing cookies with Jed at Bible Study on Thursday or the way she said oatmeal yesterday...all 3 syllables in a sing-song voice OAT-ME-AL. She was so proud! I think she said oatmeal about 300 times that day. 

The talk with my precious son in the car about fighting the fight of faith and refusing to allow the enemy room to separate relationship. How do I take a snapshot of these moments that I can keep forever? 

Can I freeze frame that boys precious smile that still, every once in awhile says "play with me momma". 

The way I feel when Eliya says, "I love you" to Nana on the phone, or how she sings the first few words of Baa Baa black sheep and looks at you, waiting until you sing the rest.  Will I forget the way she dances now, or how she loves the song, "Stuck Like Glue". 

Because we do forget. We forget the important things. At least I do. 

The Lord speaks and I rejoice in the moment. The moment is full and precious, but I so easily forget. The unimportant things creep in and make themselves all important. They scream for attention and I lose my grasp on the treasure. 

Oh Jesus, teach me to hold on to treasure and let go of all else. 

Your Days are Already Numbered

Your Days are Already Numbered

Your days are already numbered.

We thought you were gone. Thought we lost you.

We wept for you- sweet child that we have never met. 

We long for you - wait for you -care for you.

But we know - we know you are ultimately His.

He has decided your days before the beginning.

Your sister with her wild hair and wild smile

        She is ultimately HIS

Your brother, suave and debonair - almost a man

         He is ultimately HIS

Everyday is a gift he gives, but did not have to. 

Every smile from Eliya

Every joke from Isaiah

Every inch you grow 

Every second I am privileged to carry your growing life in me

Gifts

Gifts He does not owe, but lavishes on me. 

Daily.

And the loss...

that is from Him too

from the same hand good hand that paints the sunsets.